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When studies about sexual partners or fidelity use a mixture of face-to-face interviews and anonymous computer questionnaires, men will give the same answers to both, but women will report much higher numbers when the answers are anonymous. Can you imagine a leading female politician having an affair and her husband standing loyally by her?Or the reaction to a female CEO having a public affair with her young male assistant?'Emotionally, they make plans and have strategies, while men are more impulsive.' From a young age, he says, women will start to consider the kind of life they want, what kind of job or house they aspire to, how many children they'd like and what kind of partner.
It's common, for example, for women to lie to their partners about how much money they have spent - even when they don't need to.
According to Dr David Holmes, a psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, women are having more affairs than ever - recent studies say the figure is around 20 per cent for men and a bit over 15 per cent for women - but they behave very differently from men when they cheat.
'The biggest difference is that women are much better at keeping their affairs secret,' he says.
It's not just a question of avoiding the inevitable row over the 'worth it' factor of a pair of killer heels, but of holding something back in order to maintain a sense of emotional independence, and to balance out the power we might feel our partner has in other aspects of the relationship. Why have a huge row over something he needn't even know about?
A recent survey by a leading building society also found that women are much more likely than men to have a 'secret' account with money their partner knows nothing about. I never tell him about my girlfriends' secrets, because he'd be judgmental and disapproving. But it's easy to see how a climate of withholding and keeping smaller secrets can easily lead to bigger ones.